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The Importance of Boundaries as a Church Caregiver

The Importance of Boundaries as a Church Caregiver

Regardless of how much you try to stay neutral and maintain boundaries, there is a loss of objectivity because the relationship between the support provider and the user is often personal. Because there is a closer relationship and connection between care ministry members and the person who is looking for support, we need to be more mindful about how our support can cross over into trying to rescue or save someone.

What to look for in a care ministry volunteer

What to look for in a care ministry volunteer

If you don’t have a team helping you support those in your congregation you are going to wear yourself and those who come to you out if you try to do it all on your own. When you are seeking out people to be on a care team, look for natural helpers. Having a diverse group of care volunteers will strengthen your care team and create an environment that will encourage people to seek out support rather than suffer in isolation.  

Why people care matters at your church

Why people care matters at your church

Most ministry leaders don’t realize that churches are often the number one front-line mental health resource for their members. It’s necessary to have a care team and an intentional care plan for those who are looking to your church for support.     So download the 17 page guide on 3 Steps to Building Sustainable Care Ministry in your Church.

For a limited time I’m offering a free guide on building a sustainable care ministry in your churc

7 Keys to building resilience

7 Keys to building resilience

  Resilience can feel like a buzz word.  It sounds really good, what does it actually mean?  And even harder is figuring out how to achieve it.  It’s like the unicorn of well-being or actually achieving the allusive “work-life balance”.  Super nice to say and...

What is Compassion Fatigue?

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Around the world ministry leaders and cross-cultural workers are serving and caring and unaware of the risk and impacts of Compassion Fatigue.  Resulting in people experiencing mental, emotional and physical exhaustion and even having to leave the ministry to care for own their wellbeing.

Why Self-care is not selfish

Why Self-care is not selfish

Self-care has been found to be a core building block for surviving and thriving in ministry and we are going to outline what self-care is and how it doesn’t have to take a lot of time, energy or money to do.

Flipping your lid

Flipping your lid

“Flipping your lid” is a simplified explanation that I often refer to when describing what happens in the brain when people experience stress.  Once you learn this concept you will begin to see if everywhere. The frustrated customer, angry neighbour, the exhausted parent.  Your response to this human experience will be forever changed, and you build self awareness resists that urge to flip your own lid. 

Using scales to support

Using scales to support

If the person you’re supporting is having difficulty describing their feelings, or the meeting is lacking focus or if it’s a struggle to keep people on track, use a number or color scale as it provides common ground and language to build upon.

4 Steps to quit smoking

4 Steps to quit smoking

Most people I know want to quit smoking. That means that an estimated 34 million adults in America have either thought of quitting or tried and failed. But most people don’t realize that nicotine is just as hard, or even harder, to quit than heroin.  So it’s no...

5 Ways care giving impacts your life

5 Ways care giving impacts your life

You are a deeply caring individual and you are devoted to your work and calling and there is nothing to be ashamed of, or feel guilty about when you find yourself worn-out and not wanting to hear any more sadness and problems. Measure your levels of caregiver fatigue, and discover 5 ways your life is impacted.

Why do you experience anxiety and how to overcome it

Why do you experience anxiety and how to overcome it

millions of people every day that are struggling through life but have no idea why or how to overcome it. Anxiety can be tricky to detect and presents differently in each person and let me guarantee you EVERYONE struggles with anxiety. So let’s discover why we experience anxiety and how you can we overcome it.

7 signs of addiction – Are you addicted to your phone?

7 signs of addiction – Are you addicted to your phone?

It’s no surprise  44% of Americans say they couldn’t go a day without their cell phone.   But the question is, are we addicted?  In this video I identify 7 signs of addiction. These 7 things can also be applied to any other behavior addiction (shopping, pornography, gambling, gaming or food)

3 strategies to Calm Anxiety

3 strategies to Calm Anxiety

As Christians how do we overcoming anxiety and worry that can preoccupy our minds? What as believers can we do in the moment of crisis? In this video I offer some strategies to help you begin to overcome anxiety so you are able to feel less anxious.

A Discussion about How To Handle Addiction

A Discussion about How To Handle Addiction

https://youtu.be/DhRM9CnHh3E   Each substance or behavior has its own signs and symptoms of addiction. When you are experiencing addiction, you are drawn to the substance because you are avoiding the bad. The bad could be loneliness, negative thoughts, anxious...

10 Ways to Overcome Anxiety

10 Ways to Overcome Anxiety

The walls are closing in. Chest is tightening. Agitation grows. Anyone experiencing a little stress right now?? Nerves, overwhelm or anxiety are developed for a number of reasons, but the main one is stress. Today I write this as I sit quarantined in my home along...

This is Burnout

This is Burnout

Burnout is a real thing. 
Combine prolonged stress, with no control or ability to change your circumstance and you lose hope. 
As hopelessness grows you develop a belief that you are trapped and nothing is going to change. This is burnout and it impacts millions of people a year. 

Must-be-nice-syndrome 

Must-be-nice-syndrome 

Have you ever found yourself cynical or having difficulty being encouraging to others when they tell you about their positive life experiences and self-care practices? Same. So when I experience breakthrough, joy and excitement I find myself holding back on sharing not wanting to cause anyone else to feel bad. Must-be-nice-syndrome is really a red flag signal that we are lacking in the self-care department.

Remaining in God’s Will the Easy Way

Remaining in God’s Will the Easy Way

Anxiously striving to follow and serve God once felt like I was trying to follow a car in an unfamiliar place. “Please no red lights, please don’t turn left.”
But when I go hiking with my family I never let my children go behind me, they are never chasing to keep up. As parents, we ensured that the kids were safe and remained ahead of us and going in the right direction.
This is how I feel God leads us. He never lets us get behind him. There is no striving to keep up. We don’t need to live in anxiety pursuing Him.

5 Skills for an Effective Counseling Session

5 Skills for an Effective Counseling Session

“I want to see someone else.” “I am requesting a new counsellor.” This was the 6th message firing me as a counsellor in only a few short months. Ugh… What was I doing wrong? I started out my career in the helping profession 15 years ago, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed...

Just Let Me Be Alone

Just Let Me Be Alone

When was the last time you went out to a social event because YOU wanted to go? Not because you were required because of your job, or because family expected you to, but because you genuinely were looking forward to going out, seeing people, laughing and enjoying the...

How long have you been working today?

How long have you been working today?

“15 hours” “That’s crazy” he responded and headed to bed. When my husband asked me this question I paused to think. The question came at 11 pm and I still had my computer open, stretching my neck every 10 minutes from looking down at the screen for hours. It was a...

How to debrief without burdening

How to debrief without burdening

Unicorns pooping slime? Why is this even a thing?! My children have been obsessed with slime. This must be a common experience because the toy industry has developed every way in which slime can be marketed. I have avoided slime in my house as much as possible, but...

Meditation 

Meditation 

Meditation. What comes to mind when you hear this word? Yoga? Buddhism? New age humanism? Or do you think of prayer? Maybe King David’s writing of the psalms and aligning with the Holy Spirit? Yeah, not many people think about that last option. It is true that...

I’m Disqualified

I’m Disqualified

“Am I just wasting time?” Me, just a few days ago. Today is Monday. A new week. A new day and I’m curious what God is going to make of it. Last week was brutal though. In just about every area of my life I felt withdrawn and discouraged. Last week was full of chaos,...

Trigger. Trigger. Trigger.

Trigger. Trigger. Trigger.

“I'm done. Don't talk to me anymore. Go ask your father.” It was a harsh thing to say to an 8-year-old, but I admit it, that's what I said to my daughter. Picture this. Hot afternoon. Standing in a crowd with a lot of noise. All of us hungry. Add to that my kids...

I have control issues

I have control issues

On the outside, it may fool you. I’m the easy going parent. I enjoy being more spontaneous and love adventure. I’m not a clean freak and I’m okay with leaving the dishes in the sink for a day or two. But on the inside, oh man, on the inside I need to be in control of...

Are you Empowering or Enabling?

Are you Empowering or Enabling?

Let me go straight to the point. Enabling is doing life FOR someone. Enabling however often comes disguised as supporting. Let me paint the picture for you. Doing the homework for your children is enabling them. Supporting would look like sitting with them and...

Setting Boundaries and saying No

Setting Boundaries and saying No

“If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” was read every night as a bedtime story at our household this past week. The author, Laura Numeroff, describes how this cute boy offers a cookie to a mouse (in case you haven’t guessed by the name yet, ha!) and how the boy responds to...

Brain is Powering Down

Brain is Powering Down

Left in the car 5 miles and a boat ride away was my phone charger and there was no way I was leaving that line to go get it.   It’s not any line.   I’m standing in line for the Peter Pan ride at Disney World and I realized that I left my phone cord in the...

7 Ways to Manage Anxiety

7 Ways to Manage Anxiety

My heart started racing.   My husband and I had shut all the lights off and headed upstairs to bed when I realized I had just stepped on my daughter who had fallen asleep on the stairs.   #truestory   You see, my youngest daughter has mastered the...

13 Tips for Better Sleep

13 Tips for Better Sleep

Sleep is often the first thing to suffer when stresses are mounting at home and work. The common most frequent recommendation is to develop a sleep routine. To go to bed and wake-up at roughly the same time each day. Agreed this is a key to developing, healthy sleep habits, but easier said than done. Here is a list of practical tried and true tips to help with falling asleep and getting the rest your body and mind desperately needs.

Should Statements

Should Statements

I came home from work later than expected. I was greeted with questions of “what’s for dinner?” I lost it. “You should have taken care of this!”
At the moment I didn’t have this clarity, but looking back I believe that the lie from the devil was about my value and respect. I should really stop using should statements.

Changing your thinking

Changing your thinking

Overgeneralization is an unhealthy thought distortion.  It is when we make predictions and have false beliefs based on only one or two experiences. Luckily, there are some simple steps you can do to develop more balanced thinking.

How do I take back my thoughts, mind and life?

How do I take back my thoughts, mind and life?

How do I take back my thoughts, mind, and life? (read the first half of this blog post here) The first thing to ending the assault is to expose it for what it is. A lie from the devil.  See how irrational the thoughts are and remind yourself of the truth. What is a...

Who Do You Think You Are?!

Who Do You Think You Are?!

Who do You Think You Are!? “You don’t have enough education.”“You’re too young.”“You’re too plain”.“Your too fat to be on stage”“You are a nobody.”“You don’t know enough about the bible”. What a tsunami of self-doubt!As I take steps towards building Hope Made Strong...